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| Kellen at 9 months |
Monday, August 8, 2011
Nine Months
Submission is NOT a four letter word
Over the last few months several decisions needed to be made in regards to my family and our life. I deferred to my husband. Not many people have understood this. In fact most people look at me as if I said something really wrong when I tell them that my husband is the leader of our household, but this is what the bible expects(Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18). Does this mean that I am a weak women?Not at all and my husband would agree, but I believe that God has designed things the way he did for a reason and he wants men to lead and women to help them. There is peace in my home, my children are happy, and after ten years, I still have an amazing marriage. That is all the proof I need, so for me and my household, we will follow the Lord!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Months 7 and 8
In the last two months Kellen has really changed. He is mobile now, but not crawling on all fours. He army crawls everywhere. He is a mama's boy and will reach for me or cry when I leave the room. He is talking constantly and loved to scream at the top of his lungs. He eats anything and everything I put in front of him. He is all boy and is constantly getting into mischief!
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| Kellen 7 months |
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| Kellen 8 months, with sister Mattaya |
Faithful God, Faithful Friends
It has been over two month since I wrote my last post and I think it has been the hardest two months of my life. Keeping my head above the water was all I could do and sometimes I failed, but through the faith of some amazing friends and trusting in God's plan above my own, I finally feel like I an floating on top of the water again, lungs full of air and enjoying the sunshine.
At the beginning of May both kids got sick. Kellen got his first fever and Mattaya had her first fever in over a year. It took forever for them both to get well and then Kellen stopped sleeping well at night and I was a walking zombie from lack of sleep. My job had gotten really intense. I was getting a lot of pressure to stay on an unrealistic schedule. I was asked to work overtime which added to my already crazy days of getting up at 3:30am and getting home after 6 pm. I wasn't taking care of myself. I was spiraling down hill fast. I ended up getting mastitis that spread to a few lymph nodes and hives covering 90% of my body. My poor husband had to pick up so much slack. He is amazing! He cooked, cleaned and took care of our kids and NEVER once did he complain. I saw the exhaustion in his eyes and I knew that this situation was not only affecting me, but also was really affecting him..
I was not trusting in God. Looking back, I feel like I was the spoiled child with the pity party attitude. I needed help, but had the wool pulled so far over my eyes that I couldn't see it. Some friends of mine had been praying that I get a job closer to home( I commute 1 hr each way) and I am so grateful for their faith. Their faith and grace made me realize that I was not being faithful to God in this situation. I began to pray and restored my faith that God would help. Not a week after I started praying, I applied for 2 jobs for which I was qualified. This was huge as jobs in my area of expertise are far and few between in Montana. Within a few days I got a call for an interview. The interview went really well and I felt encouraged. The person who interviewed me said he would call me early the following week to come in to meet the rest of the staff. But as Thursday rolled around and I had not gotten a call, I was feeling really faithless. I realized that I had a good job and needed to be happy in my situation. God knew what was best for me and I needed to be content. As soon as my attitude changed I got the call for the followup interview! Needless to say I got the job.
Through this time I was not very faithful, but God was faithful to me. I think mostly because of my amazing friends who prayed for me constantly, God blessed me. We need people around us who are faithful when we are struggling. Everyone goes through good and bad times and we all need help! I am grateful for each and everyone one of these ladies for not giving up on me!
At the beginning of May both kids got sick. Kellen got his first fever and Mattaya had her first fever in over a year. It took forever for them both to get well and then Kellen stopped sleeping well at night and I was a walking zombie from lack of sleep. My job had gotten really intense. I was getting a lot of pressure to stay on an unrealistic schedule. I was asked to work overtime which added to my already crazy days of getting up at 3:30am and getting home after 6 pm. I wasn't taking care of myself. I was spiraling down hill fast. I ended up getting mastitis that spread to a few lymph nodes and hives covering 90% of my body. My poor husband had to pick up so much slack. He is amazing! He cooked, cleaned and took care of our kids and NEVER once did he complain. I saw the exhaustion in his eyes and I knew that this situation was not only affecting me, but also was really affecting him..
I was not trusting in God. Looking back, I feel like I was the spoiled child with the pity party attitude. I needed help, but had the wool pulled so far over my eyes that I couldn't see it. Some friends of mine had been praying that I get a job closer to home( I commute 1 hr each way) and I am so grateful for their faith. Their faith and grace made me realize that I was not being faithful to God in this situation. I began to pray and restored my faith that God would help. Not a week after I started praying, I applied for 2 jobs for which I was qualified. This was huge as jobs in my area of expertise are far and few between in Montana. Within a few days I got a call for an interview. The interview went really well and I felt encouraged. The person who interviewed me said he would call me early the following week to come in to meet the rest of the staff. But as Thursday rolled around and I had not gotten a call, I was feeling really faithless. I realized that I had a good job and needed to be happy in my situation. God knew what was best for me and I needed to be content. As soon as my attitude changed I got the call for the followup interview! Needless to say I got the job.
Through this time I was not very faithful, but God was faithful to me. I think mostly because of my amazing friends who prayed for me constantly, God blessed me. We need people around us who are faithful when we are struggling. Everyone goes through good and bad times and we all need help! I am grateful for each and everyone one of these ladies for not giving up on me!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
6 Months Old!
Lessons in Faith
Faith has always been something I have struggled with. I think it means so many different things to different people. The dictionary defines it as confidence or trust in a person or a thing. I am not a person that trusts easily, yet this is what God wants of us. Before I really began to follow Jesus, I needed to have full and utter control over everything in my life. I couldn't trust the people around me to make the right decisions for me, how on earth was I suppose to trust God? Even after I was baptized and began to live the life of a disciple of Jesus, I still could not let go of the control.
The first time I got a lesson in being faithful to God was when we were trying to have our first baby. I needed control and I took it, yet I was not trusting in God and his timing. I wanted it my way. In the end we lost four babies. The last one we lost could have killed me. This was an eye opener for me. It was the first time that my faith had really been tested and I finally surrendered to the fact that God knew better then I did. I stopped trying to control things. We were told that we could not have biological children. As devastating as this was, it also helped me surrender to God completely. We began to enjoy life again and I turned completely to God. Eight short months later and by accident, we got pregnant and 9 months after that I gave birth to an angel. When our daughter was 2 we decided that it might be time to have another baby. This time we left God in complete control and we were blessed with our son. God taught me to be faithful through this, it has helped me to trust in Him more then I ever thought possible.
This brings me to a second situation that I have had to be faithful and the reason I wanted to share this to begin with. About 2 months after we lost our 4th baby, we bought a house in North Bend Washington. It was our dream home and we were so excited! A little over a month after we moved it, it began to rain and it didn't let up. I had just come upstairs after working out and my dog started to bark. I rolled my eyes because I assumed that she was barking at the squirrel that had been harassing her since we moved in. I went and looked downstairs. In the five minutes it had been since I had come upstairs, our downstairs had filled with 2 feet of water. Chad saved what he could because the majority of our stuff was still downstairs. We loaded our pets and a few precious items into our car and we left our house, not foreseeing the nightmare ahead of us. Since our first flood the house has flooded almost ever year. Some years it has flooded multiple times. In the last 6 months, it has flood three times. We were very forunate to be able to buy another house in Montana, but we could not sell the house in North Bend so we rented it out and began to pray that God would help us sell it to the county. Weeks turned into months and months turned into years and there was no sign that the house would be bought. We had oppurtunities that fell through. We couldn't sell it and we could no longer rent it. We couldn't make the payments anymore. We left it to God. We had one grant that would have bought the house as a short sale, but the bank wouldn't accept it. We had one last grant to apply for and it was our last hope. If this didn't go through we would foreclose and the home could be sold to another unsuspecting family. We asked God to make this grant go through. In Mathew 17:20 it says:
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
We believed and it happened! We sold our house on the day that we needed to so that the house would not be auctioned. No one ever has to live in that house again. I kept faith and trusted through this situation like I never had before. I still had my moments of anxiety, but I was able to overcome. When we trust completely in God and his plan for us, we will be blessed!
The first time I got a lesson in being faithful to God was when we were trying to have our first baby. I needed control and I took it, yet I was not trusting in God and his timing. I wanted it my way. In the end we lost four babies. The last one we lost could have killed me. This was an eye opener for me. It was the first time that my faith had really been tested and I finally surrendered to the fact that God knew better then I did. I stopped trying to control things. We were told that we could not have biological children. As devastating as this was, it also helped me surrender to God completely. We began to enjoy life again and I turned completely to God. Eight short months later and by accident, we got pregnant and 9 months after that I gave birth to an angel. When our daughter was 2 we decided that it might be time to have another baby. This time we left God in complete control and we were blessed with our son. God taught me to be faithful through this, it has helped me to trust in Him more then I ever thought possible.
This brings me to a second situation that I have had to be faithful and the reason I wanted to share this to begin with. About 2 months after we lost our 4th baby, we bought a house in North Bend Washington. It was our dream home and we were so excited! A little over a month after we moved it, it began to rain and it didn't let up. I had just come upstairs after working out and my dog started to bark. I rolled my eyes because I assumed that she was barking at the squirrel that had been harassing her since we moved in. I went and looked downstairs. In the five minutes it had been since I had come upstairs, our downstairs had filled with 2 feet of water. Chad saved what he could because the majority of our stuff was still downstairs. We loaded our pets and a few precious items into our car and we left our house, not foreseeing the nightmare ahead of us. Since our first flood the house has flooded almost ever year. Some years it has flooded multiple times. In the last 6 months, it has flood three times. We were very forunate to be able to buy another house in Montana, but we could not sell the house in North Bend so we rented it out and began to pray that God would help us sell it to the county. Weeks turned into months and months turned into years and there was no sign that the house would be bought. We had oppurtunities that fell through. We couldn't sell it and we could no longer rent it. We couldn't make the payments anymore. We left it to God. We had one grant that would have bought the house as a short sale, but the bank wouldn't accept it. We had one last grant to apply for and it was our last hope. If this didn't go through we would foreclose and the home could be sold to another unsuspecting family. We asked God to make this grant go through. In Mathew 17:20 it says:
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
We believed and it happened! We sold our house on the day that we needed to so that the house would not be auctioned. No one ever has to live in that house again. I kept faith and trusted through this situation like I never had before. I still had my moments of anxiety, but I was able to overcome. When we trust completely in God and his plan for us, we will be blessed!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
5 months!
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